Sex in your 20s - what to expect
Sex in your 20s is all about defining your sexual boundaries.
What to expect
This is a time to be reckoned with. Hormones are crankin’, plumbing’s in mint condition. And, to start with, at least, you haven’t got the foggiest what you’re doing – even if your fierce heels and bandage skirt say otherwise.
Your third decade is the era of meeting your sexuality. (Spin the Bottle and Blue Light Disco pashes don’t count.) Sydney-based sex and relationship therapist Susie Tuckwell (susietuckwell.com.au) believes that this is the decade during which women start to define sexual boundaries in and out of the bedroom.
“A part of the process of growing into being an adult woman is to recognise her own sexual, relationship and emotional needs, and to be able to fulfill them safely and respectfully,” Tuckwell says. Unfortunately, for some women, this learning often results from trial and error – dashing down the stairwell after finding he ain’t no Mr Nice Guy, or soliciting adulation only to find yourself fending off leerers with your handbag. The exploratory nature of the life stage favours risk-taking, with obvious perils.
The flipside of hormones that make you want to go home with the guy in the Federer headband is that you probably will go home with a guy who wears a Federer headband. A zealous libido combined with a pressing need to feel attractive and keep up with the Jones’ (blame Gossip Girl) can cloud the judgment that would otherwise keep you safe – from things you’d really rather not do to STIs and…how late’s too late for the morning-after pill?
Sex educator Sophie Warren, from adult sex ed site PashnRoot (pashnroot.com.au), says the key focus in your 20s should be communication. Sounds about as exciting as a night on the tiles with Hugh Hefner, but learning how to communicate your wants and ethics – and practising being assertive – is an investment in your future ka-boom.
“Women need to know how to keep themselves safe; that means they don’t have to do anything sexually that they don’t want to do, and should not be pressured into something they are not ready for.” Learning not only what you do and don’t like, but how to express it, stands you in optimal stead for entering your 30s with devil-may-care sexual confidence.
If this is your era, enjoy it, and know your sex life only gets better from here.