Women's Health & Fitness

The art of negotiation

Sure you're in love... but that doesn't mean you must agree on everything. Dr Gray offers his tips on wise negotiation to preserve relationship bliss

In the grand scheme of relationships, no issue that eats at the core of one partner can be considered unimportant - whether it's about chores, money, or experimenting in the bedroom.

So what's to be done then when one half of a couple decides that the 'rules' in the relationship are no longer working for him or her? If you once said 'yes' to something but have now changed your mind, it's not too late to alter the course of things to come.

The art of the deal

The word 'negotiate' can play just as big a role in a relationship as the word 'love.' Most couples find ways to accommodate each other to make sure that both parties are as satisfied and happy as possible. While 'let's negotiate' might never be said out loud, couples negotiate the terms of their relationship on a daily basis, through big issues and smaller issues - from deciding what to eat for dinner to selecting a movie, from settling on the number of children to have to figuring out where to live.

But one negotiation does not mean that the solution reached in that moment is the be-all and end-all. And, quite often, partners do change their minds about how they feel, whether they've already driven halfway to the restaurant or they're about to sign a new mortgage.

These examples are very tangible, and discussing a change of heart, a gut feeling, or an opinion can come quite naturally.

But when there's a part of your relationship that seems to have formed a life of its own, when your partner has fallen into a habit that makes you uneasy, or when you're currently accepting of some things just because you once agreed to them, you are by no means stuck. As long as communication exists, you don't have to feel like you're permanently rooted in one place with no chance for change. It's not always simple, but you can renegotiate your relationship.

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